"It's not as big as I thought it would be..." was the almost enthusiastic conclusion.
No problem we have the incredible world beating attraction of Las Vegas coming up just around the corner.... (I think you know where this is going?)
To start our assessment... It has the best shopping malls - see Gayle present the incomparable rough approximation of the Grand Canal! (Smile for the camera...)
See me introduce the transcendental attendance in the grandeur of the Sistine Chapel, complete with fashion accessory stores and night club! (Say cheese...)
The most celebrated hotels...
Religious history and institutions....
And believe me if it were polite or safe to photograph every person on the strip who has swapped their teeth, brain and dress sense for a yard of Margherita and a fist full of call girl cards we'd have some absolute belters of the general public to share.
My personal favourite tonight was a typical redneck who used the broom from an impressively constructed balloon-witch outside a typical bar/family diner to pose for his girlfriend to photograph him as though it was his todger. Comedy genius, I feel the dry wit of Peter Cook and the imagination of Monty Python was all a mistake now.
Gayle's favourite was the hot pant sporting somewhat mature, but never under-made-up waitresses deftly keeping the motionally-challenged slot monkeys in bud-lite and whiskey. They were perty.
We tried a few angles to justify the pull of Sin City:
- The hotels are the most impressive!
(Read: a lot of money has converted a dull dual carriageway on an industrial estate into a very odd dual carriage way on an industrial estate)
- You can't enjoy it on a budget!
(Read: it's set up to bleed you dry, if you have budget then you could spend it on transport to go somewhere different)
- You have to get into the mood!
(Read: you have to pretend you enjoy losing money, self respect and a sense of taste - yes both meanings)
Apologies if this is your dream holiday destination, we always knew it wasn't going to be our particular cup of tea! We might go see find some really big holes in the ground to gawp at instead before our big journey down to Mexico in little over a week....
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